Two lessons — One from my father and one I learnt from my work
Recently, at an alumni gathering, I was invited to deliver a 10 min motivational talk. What I chose to do instead was to reflect over my life and see what lessons I have learnt. Perhaps some of those lessons could inspire/motivate someone to do something differently in their life.
I had first typed out my speech and then spoke extempore at the stage. The transcript of the typed out speech I would like to share with you today. Here goes:
I am 36 going on 37, statistically, I have lived almost half my life and the other half is left now. It felt like a good time to reflect on some of the lessons I have learned that I would like to share with you. As one lives through life, one learns many lessons but I would try to distill it down to 2 that I would like to share with you today.
I started my schooling at the BVS Parsi school. This school has children from all walks of life, we had a peon’s son studying with us and the son of a minister too. At school, we never felt rich or poor. I think it was because it was a boy’s school so we never competed on those things we competed on athletic performance, academic performance, etc.
In Grade 5 my mom who was a teacher saw that O levels were the future and The City PAF Chapter was a brilliant establishment being built next to the PAF Housing colony. After some research, my parents moved us there. It was a brilliant decision. At City School, we thrived, on the extracurricular activities, the openness of the institution, the great teaching, and the excellent campus facilities. I ended up being very good at studies and sports.
However, there was one nagging problem. My parents had financially stretched themselves to put us in this school. Please note this is no rags-to-riches story. We were not poor by any means, we were and are firmly middle class. But an example of this would be that back then when children would come in fancy cars with their drivers, my parents could afford a 20+ year old vehicle. When kids went on foreign trips my parents would take us on local trips now and then. I never felt the peer pressure of not having enough until 2 things happened.
One day, when I invited my best friend over to my place, he came to my house and the first thing he said was, you have such a small house. He had a big house in DHA back then and we lived in an upper portion of a family home in PECHS. I never thought my house was small but this friend's comment stayed with me. This was the first incident. The second time I was indicated that I was not as rich as some of the other kids was when one day we were dropped off at school in our oldish car, a classmate made fun of my car and said your parents can't afford a new car. The first incident happened in 5th grade and the second in 8th grade. Maybe it was the age, maybe it was the cruelness in that fellow's comments but this one stung more.
My father who runs a business in Bolton Market and has done so all his life, I would go sit with him on Saturdays at his shop. My father tries to run an honest business. No false products, no smuggling of goods etc alhamdulillah. However many other traders have more loose moral ethics around these areas. I would urge my dad to bend the rules sometimes so that we could be “rich” as per my book. He would always caution me against it. He would say, halal kamaya hua sukoon deta hai, haram sukoon cheen leta hai.
When I was a teenager, these arguments sounded to me like a weak person’s cop-out. I couldn’t see the depth of this argument.
As I grew up, I saw the value in what he said. We have seen ups and downs as a family financially because being part of a business these are part of your life. But alhumdullilah never had we had any less of god’s naimat. We have always had food on the table, good health, good relationships, and love in the home. Now that my dad is an old man in his 60s and we are grown up me and my brother. I could see how living a good life and earning a good living earns you long-term sukoon and well-being in life. My father inspired me to always do the right thing and not give in to peer pressure to earn more by the wrong means. I think it’s a reminder our society needs. Trust God and do your bit well and it will all take care of itself.
This was my first lesson from my teenage years and it has lasted me for life I hope it serves as something for all of us to reflect on.
The second lesson I have learned in life. This is a lesson I learned in med school.
As I mentioned to you, I used to get good grades, back then the usual journey was you would go towards the sciences. I did so during my A levels because I genuinely enjoyed the study of biology. After the study of biology, the natural transition quite often was med school. Being competitive we aimed for AKU because it was the best institution for getting a medical degree in Pakistan. I worked hard like many others but alhumdullilah I was lucky. Out of the 6000 students that applied there I was amongst the 100 that got chosen.
Once in med school though, I felt a vacuum in my soul. I felt okay now this is done. How long will I keep running in this rat race where I have to compete with others? Throughout med school, I was looking for that longer-term purpose in life. I found it one day when a kid from Thatta walked through the door of the AKU ER. This is the early 2010s 11s. This kid had come in from Thatta but it took him 7 hours to make this journey. He was in a bad way. We treated him as having breathing trouble due to water in his lungs. Within a couple of hours of our treatment, he started getting better. I got busy with other patients. He called me to his bedside and asked me for a glass of water. I asked the big doctor on duty and he advised against it because the kid had water in his lungs — the technical term is pulmonary edema. A few minutes later the kid crashed. We started doing CPR. He didn’t make it. I still to this day feel guilty I didn’t give him his last wish. That was a bad day. I went home and reflected on this child’s death. Why did he die? Kids don’t just die. They die because we fail them. This kid died because the system failed him.
First of all, he should not have had to travel to Karachi to get treated. He should have had good healthcare facilities in Thatta. Secondly, if he had to because he was so critical, he shouldn’t have had to travel 7 hours to complete this journey. It should have been done in max 1.5 hours because Thatta is only 150 km away from us.
Anyway, he didn’t make it and I prayed to God please help me do something about this one day.
A few years later in 2014, I was working with the Aman Foundation. If you remember we used to run ambulances for the city. We had sixty-odd vehicles on the road at any point. Back then, the Sindh Government was hoping to expand ambulances to rural Sindh. I was the person leading the partnership. Creating partnerships with the government is not easy, there’s lots of paperwork, and lots of lobbying, but once it gets done, the scale that is unlocked is immense.
I spent two years working on developing this partnership. In 2015 this landmark agreement was signed. And guess which districts they started their services from Thatta 😊
It felt like a full-circle moment. I was so grateful to God that he let me play my part in this journey. Today the Aman Foundation is not more but thanks to the partnership with the Sindh 1122 ambulances 400 ambulances are serving Karachiites and the province of Sindh day and night.
The lesson that I gained from here, is jab aap dil sey kaam kartey hain. Kaam mein barkat hoti hai and God opens his doors for you to serve. You keep on getting more and more responsibilities.
So my two lessons are — earn your living through the right means and God will shower you with his blessings and two put your heart into the things you do and you will find life becomes so much more enriching and a journey worth reflecting on.
Thank you so much for listening to me. And have a great rest of the evening.
