The Circle of Life

Yesterday, I took my family out for a late-night drive. My son, Abbas, had fallen asleep at an odd hour in the afternoon which meant that he would wake up and have a late night. No worries, my leaves were starting from the next day so I thought let’s make hay while the moon shines.

We first went out for a long drive in the Phase 8 area. My son loves to identify random signs on the road. This was followed by some fries on Seaview. He still hadn’t had enough fun, my wife and I were both a bit tired. My wife suggested, let’s go for a drive to Saddar and have Chicken Corn Soup from Pakistan Chowk. I obliged.

We got to the soup place and they served delicious crackers (papri) with the soup. My son delightedly ate the crackers with the soup. After soup, we went out for a walk in the deserted street of the Pakistan Chowk intersection. I usually carry him piggyback on top of my shoulders. Abbas had a balloon in his hand, and a street light from the back showed our shadow in the foreground. The shadow showed a man carrying his son who was having a great time riding on his Babas shoulders. It was a beautiful moment.

This moment made me reflect. This is what it means to be a father. Life has many stages. But one pivotal one for a man is when he becomes a father.

Before you are given this responsibility and this joy, you live life for yourself, on your terms and for most of us our lives are driven by our goals, purposes, and choices. It is quite fun to live that way. I thoroughly enjoyed my time. My father was a great father. He gave us all the joys a father should give to their sons. He taught us essential life skills like how to change a flat, he took us to the outdoors and made us fall in love with the mountains and the oceans, he introduced us to all the sports he knew and made us pretty good at them. By being the way he was he taught us how to grow up to be men. He also made sure that we were protected from life’s harsher realities. That is what a father does.

Now when I am a father, I figure my role is to do the same for my son. Show him a great time. Let him explore the world in his way and time. Lead by example and protect him from the ills and harsher realities of life for a certain period. No longer is my life tied to my purposes and choices. Our lives have become intertwined with each other. My son’s joys are mine his happiness is mine. This does not mean that I will not take some time for R&R now and then. That is essential to being mentally sane. However, what that does mean is that my life is a second priority my son’s is first.

Once you accept this as your role in life, all the sacrifices, big and small, don’t feel like sacrifices at all, they just feel like your duty as a father. One that you do willingly and happily.

And that in my opinion is the circle of life.