The 5 Pillars of my Life
Growing up, all around me, the holy grail was to find your calling and then life would be fulfilling from that point forth. I spent the first 25 years of my life looking for that calling. After graduating from Med School when I learnt what is it that I am really built for I chased it passionately. This was primarily a professional aspiration married with passion.
5 years later, while I was proud of what I had managed to achieve on the professional front, I still felt unfulfilled in several other capacities. I realized that this blinding passion had found me woefully wanting in some of the other aspects of life.
The above sounds like an obvious and an oft-repeated cycle for many an ambitious person. In this article, I shall summarize what I had would do slightly differently and how I calibrate my life today which leads to quite a satisfying balance on life.
I bucket my life into five pillars. Keeping a frequent mental calibration on them keeps things on an even keel.
- My Emotions:
How do I feel about myself? How’s my connection with my heart? I have realized pursuing an art form helps delve into this aspect of my life. Writing is another way of self-expression to tap into this sphere of my life
2. My health:
Am I working out as often as I would like? Do I like the way my body looks? Can I physically deliver on a few physical health milestones?
I have found hobbies in life that keep me healthy and are fun to pursue. After many years of spending time in the gym, I found it to be extremely boring, so I made the switch to boxing and judo. Great sports that always offer a challenge. Find hobbies that you can pursue every day and also keep you healthy — win-win
3. My work
Am I working hard enough? Is there progress? Do I have clarity on what I want to do next? Is the ship stable (a constant concern for entrepreneurs)
For those friends for whom their primary job is not intellectually or professionally satisfying enough, start a side hustle. Self-employment is something I wish everybody tried at least once in their life. Believe me, once you get hooked to it, the freedom (intellectual, temporal and spatial) is unparalleled.
4. My family & friends
How is my relationship with my immediate family? How is their health? Does anybody in my extended family need me? Ever since I’ve been married, the amount of time I invest in the relationship with my wife is a significant portion and it’s quite rewarding.
How is my relationship with my closest friends? When did I last hang out with them? Can I be there in any way for them? How am I doing with the extended circle of friends? Am I making an effort to consistently meet new people?
To do this well, I literally carve out times from my week in my calendar to follow up on this. This is something that people close to me sometimes find strange. But here’s my argument when we schedule times for fitness and for our work meetings, why not budget time every week for some of the most important relationships in your life, your family and friends. It goes without saying that when they need you, you can always prioritize them right away.
Now to the 5th and the most fundamental pillar of my life
5. My spiritual connection with the Higher power
How strong is my faith in a higher entity? Do I feel connected? How optimistic do I feel about life? What’s driving my motivations in life? Am I offering my prayers frequently?
I can write extensively on this front. I used to believe that faith and spiritual connection were another pillar equally important as the 4 I described above.
My thinking about this has evolved. I now understand that this is the most important pillar that keeps everything else firmly intact. Having faith and a belief in a higher connection keeps life on a very even keel and keeps one positively motivated in even the bleakest times.
Lack of belief does not come naturally to us human beings. Everyone has a God, it’s up to us who we give that power to. For some their God is money, for others, it’s social justice, for a few it’s hedonistic pleasures this world has to offer, for many its power. If you have belief in a God that is defined by goodness you will be less likely to go wrong.
As one grows older (and possibly wiser although can be mutually exclusive at times) one's definition of God needs to evolve as well. I find many of my friends struggle with this belief in God because they restrict their understanding of him to the one that was taught to them when we were children.
When we allow our selves space for our understanding of relationships and the world to naturally evolves as we grow older, why don’t we give the same leeway to our belief in the higher power? I personally have been through those phases of Godlessness and those are bad times. In retrospect, I understand now that my understanding of faith needed an upgrade and in the pursuit of life, I had not given myself the space to reflect on this fundamental aspect leading to a crisis of belief. Now what I do is I invest time on a daily basis through the prayers I offer.
If you want a source of boundless optimism and the ability to go through the darkest of times with a smile on your face, find faith.
I shared with you the 5 pillars that keep me anchored, I learnt them the hard way by going through a few ups and downs in life that one inevitably is faced with. Hope it helps you lead a better and more fulfilling life.
Much love and thanks for reading,
Mohsin
