Self Esteem and (Over)Achievement
Recently, I faced two major upheavals in life. First, because of circumstances, I had to close out a business I had built over 5 years, second, a new venture I was working on had to be closed out because of reasons that are best not discussed in a public article.
The reason for putting down this context is to share that life went through a massive shift. In this shift, I have spent some time introspecting and have realized that most of my life has been spent trying to achieve goals. Professionals goals, academic goals, fitness goals, athletic goals. Once I would set sight on something I would chase after it like a mad man. For many around me, my single-mindedness was impressive too. Internally it used to be my source of drive, however, as soon as I would reach that goal, I would feel a gnawing emptiness.
As I write these lines, I know I am not the only one who feels this way. A few intelligent and high-achieving friends have confided that they face a similar dilemma. Since I had an aha moment on this front I thought I would share with you what a possible fix could be.
So in my life of 33 years thus far, I have experienced a fine balance only a few times. What I mean by balance is the feeling of contentment yet a feeling of being driven with positive energy. As I reflect on when this combination was achieved, it was when I was chasing a goal that was alleviating someone’s suffering and I was doing it without intent for reward. This delicate balance requires a firm anchor in a spiritual base to keep one humble and grounded as one pursues this goal.
For your own well being, balance this drive out with exercising, spending time with friends and family and spending time by yourself to ensure this balanced drive does not consume you. Also, remember that every person is worthy of love and kindness and one does not need to earn or achieve to be worthy of love.
My 4-month-old teaches me this lesson well. He is worthy of love without him having to go out and achieve laurels. To live is to love and to love is to be kind.
May God help me in this pursuit and I wish you well, wherever you are.
Best,
Mohsin
