On having options in hand
Promotional still from “Crossroads”
Quite often, we hear stories of people with zero Plan Bs, those who go all in and don’t think of backups. The virtue of this approach is that you fight with a survival instinct. This mindset has its value for sure.
However, how often does it happen that your Plan A fails, what do you do then? Do you give up or do you go for Plan B?
This article is about the advice I was given recently by a mentor about creating options first and then deciding later. This particularly applies to larger life decisions and perhaps a certain stage in life too.
When I was in my 20s I took certain career decisions which would be considered daring. I did this from a position of relative financial privilege but still, the emotional risk remains despite that cushion. These professional risks included joining a non-profit right after graduation. Working actively for a political party, starting and growing a business with all my savings.
Many good things came out of these adventures. I learned a lot, I probably delivered some value to the lives and the people I touched in the process as well. Having said that, I noticed that my ways of thinking had shifted once I hit my 30s. As I got married and had a kid and saw my parents grow a bit older, my risk appetite changed. No longer was I taking jobs or roles just because they were exciting. The financial realities and the stability that the work afforded started factoring in as well. Initially, this mindset shift upset me a bit. I thought I was being dishonest with who I thought I was.
Once I reflected on this a bit, I realized, there is no obligation in our life to stay fixed to our mindsets. In fact, it’s healthy and essential to shift gears as and when the demands of life change.
At this point, I started considering expanding my horizons and exploring opportunities globally. In your 20’s when you change geographies it’s not so bad. You are still settling into life, making new friends, and quite often you haven’t partnered up yet. However, I and my wife both are firmly on the flip side of our 30s now. This means we are well settled into our lives in Pakistan. All our friends, most of our family, our professional networks, and our identities are firmly planted here.
As we decided to explore opportunities abroad, a big nagging feeling is whether we are making the right call. Not just for ourselves but for our son as well.
When I had this same conversation with a mentor who has changed geographies in his life 4 times for various reasons at different stages this is what he had to say.
He guided me: “Mohsin first get the option in your hand”
This is a simple but profound lesson. Our minds are tricky places. Anything new that you want to do in life requires work. When you want to change career paths, you have to put in the required work. This quite often includes things such as taking professional exams, going through administrative processes, and then a bit of reinventing yourself.
All of this is work, sometimes our mind plays tricks on us. As a form of work avoidance, it convinces us that maybe we don’t want it so bad or that it’s not the right path for us. However, if at that moment you can convince yourself that you will first do the necessary work that is required and then decide later, you ensure that you find yourself in a position of power. That is, you find yourself in a position where you can choose whether to go down that path or not.
This was great and profound advice and I thought I would document it for myself and others as a way of dealing with life when you are at a bit of a crossroads.
